THURSDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2006
First Participant from Administration
First Scantron vote-counting

Zack Foster-Culinary Arts
Jac Cole-Mathematics
Michelle Duran-McLure-Art Hisory
Vladimir Rovinsky-Theater
Hollie Cost-Teacher Education
Philip C. Williams-University Presidency
Steve Parker-Devil's Advocate

MC: Mike Kitchen

And the Oar goes to...

Philip C. Williams!

On Thursday, October 12th, Montevallo’s newly Inaugurated Philip C. Williams claimed the oar after fending off defending champ Zack Foster and newcomers Jac Cole, Michelle Duran-McLure, Vladimir Rovinsky and Hollie Cost before a crowd that the event staff estimated at over 800 people.

The debating was spirited, the margin of victory was narrow, but in the end, the clacking of the Scantron machine turned into music to Dr. Williams’ ears. His, shall I say, bold strategy of giving the audience an acronym to associate with his name (CRIME) and singing (!) a plea not to be drowned while holding a toy puppy eventually won the hearts and minds of the crowd, so Dr. Williams climbed aboard the raft and sailed to safety, leaving the others to question their own strategies. And I must say the other strategies were vigorous and unique.

Dr. Cost explained that teachers are the most fertile people in any profession.

Dr. Rovinsky promised to teach us all how to weave our heads around in a freakish manner.

Dr. Cole explained that an adequate knowledge of math would give us near omnipotence.

And, finally, Dr. Duran-McLure was the first panelist ever to play the porn card, as her defense of Art History included pictorial excerpts from the Kama Sutra.

The Devil’s Advocate appeared in the form of Steve Parker, and he stirringly argued not only that the represented disciplines were unworthy, but that their representatives had lost their humanity by identifying more with their fields of study than with their unique humanity. After a spirited question-and-answer period, the audience voted, and the rest, as they say, is Life Raft Debate History.