THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2005
First non-Faculty Participant
First Devil's Advocate Appearance

Wilson Fallin-History
Jackie Nuby–Counseling, Leadership and Foundations
Carl Doerfler-Political Science
Sally Bell-Communication Arts
Eric Vaccarella-Foreign Languages
Zack Foster-Culinary Arts
Michael Patton-Devil's Advocate

MC: Mike Kitchen

And the Oar goes to...

Sodexho’s Super Sous Chef Zack Foster!

In a wide-ranging performance that included a variety of delectable promises, including the manufacture of beer and wine, Zack had the audience of more than 500 people drooling from the start. Then he laid it all to rest in the Q and A period. While the other panelists explained how they would lead the new civilization, Zack said all he wanted to do was feed people.

The defending champion, Wilson Fallin, once again extolled the necessity of History as a guide to the future and to our own identities, but to no avail. Jackie Nuby, of Counseling, Leadership and Foundations argues that the field of Education encompassed all of the other disciplines represented and then some, and noted that she could already cook. Carl Doerfler promised to use his knowledge of Political Science to create a better government that would not trample some peoples’ strong preferences due to mob rule. Somehow, this meant people could all keep smoking. Sally Bell blamed all the world’s woes on poor communication skills, and said her study of Communication Arts would make the new world a better place. And, finally, Eric Vaccarellla argues that all the wisdom of the ages depended on our abilities to translate the works of those who had previously amassed it in other cultures.

The rebuttal period saw the tone of the debate drop a bit, Carl Doerfler said he had not planned on running s negative campaign, but the belittling remarks by Jackie Nuby forced his hand. Eric Vaccarella compared his colleague from the Political Science Department to some notorious Political Figures from the past. Everyone else alternately took shots at their opponents and extolled their own virtues.

Then, in a new twist to the debate, Michael Patton appeared on stage as the Devil’s Advocate and urged the audience to let everyone on the stage drown. He attacked the panel in general as pathetic wretches begging for mercy they did not deserve and then added personalized barbs aimed at each of the panelists

In the end, though, an army, and a life raft, it seems, travels on its stomach, and Zack gobbled up the lion’s share of the nearly 500 ballots cast, becoming the first non-faculty member to win the debate.

All in all, it was a fun event and the biggest debate ever. Emcee and former student Mike Kitchen handled the debate with his typical light and funny touch, and the participants and the audience had a grand time.

I would like to add special thanks to Marion Brown and the Palmer Auditorium staff, Julie McEntee and the Music Department, Mike Kitchen, everyone in the audience and the only club that matters, the Philosophy Club and its president Charlie Conway.